It's tough being a woman

This is a response to my sister's recent blog entry. I tried to respond there, but I found there was just too much to say inside her little comment box. So, I am responding to it here.

Of course, as a normal Christian mama, I worry about many things, too. As a rule, I am not a worrier. I am married to a worrier and as we all know...only one worrier per household is truly workable.

1. I think its tough being a mother of small children, born so close together. Its tough sometimes to trust that God knows what He's doing when He builds your family; to remember that He'll never give you more than you can handle. There are days when you'll be nursing, cooking dinner, disciplining, playing a game, singing a song and sweeping the floor(well, you'll be sweeping the floor. that's just too much for me) all at the same time, and you'll feel it all start to well up on you and you'll think/pray this is just too much. Then God will send you a blessing to remind you that He's in control. Perhaps your lovely sister will call and remind you about how bad a day can truly be, and you'll smile at your children as you hang up the phone.

2. Thankfully, I have never had serious issues with my weight or self image; either one extreme or the other. I really just want to be healthier and know that I'm not there currently, but can't do a whole lot about it in my current "condition." (Oh, how I hate that word).

3. As for all that a woman has to get done in a day, I am so not the average woman on this. I don't stress out about that. I grew up around lists and therefore hate lists. The only lists I have ever made are the books I want to read, the occasional grocery list, the things I want to do before I die and educational lists--as in what I needed to accomplish for a said class and now what I want my children to accomplish. I appreciate and admire the woman who can operate that way, but I am not one of them. I learned early on that I had certain things that were important to me to get done in my day and cleaning out the fridge or wiping down the bathroom sink did not make the top of that "list." This brought strain to my relationship with my sister growing up because one of us is a Mary and one of us a Martha (bet you can't figure out which one is which. HA!). But, I have learned that each personality is a gift in it's own right. I have learned things from her about making and building my home. I would hope that she could say the same about me.

4. The sheer awesomeness of our responsibility--this is one that my sister didn't have, but one of my own. If I worry about anything, this is it. I feel a great responsibility in being a wife and mother. I have the responsibility to guide and shepherd my children's hearts...to steer them in their relationship with God and understanding. I worry that I'm not doing enough. Am I echoing the steps of the Savior closely enough that they'll see Him in me? I worry that because of some deficiency on my part, I might cause my children to stumble later on. The thought of that, in and of itself, brings me to my knees...both literally and figuratively.

I worry that as a homeschooling mom, I won't be able to handle their academic needs. Even though, education and learning plays such a huge part in my own life, will I be able to develop that love for learning that I myself have. Will they see the importance in, not just being able to read, but in being able to read good books?

Will they be women of quality and substance? Am I showing them how to live their lives in such a way that they'll want to mirror me and ultimately Christ later on down the road?

Am I being the helpmate for my husband that God would have me to be? Do I serve him and love him as God would desire me to do? Am I submitting to him as God commanded me to do? That old stinky head of feminism is just as much a part of my thinking as any other woman in my generation. I have to remember that God placed my husband as the spiritual head and the leader in my home.

Whoa! Kind of heavy there, but those are my worries. These are where my heart lies...where my prayers tend to go.

I'll pass the question from my sister on to you; what are your worries? What makes your heart, as a woman, bleed?

A very eye opening question.