A Night Apart

Last night was the first night Aaron and I have spent apart since we were married. He is in St. Louis until Thursday night. The hardest part so far has been not having him here at night. It was kind of a wake-up for me about how safe he makes me feel. I have always been a light sleeper, but a good sleeper. Normal night noises do not wake me up. But, last night, I heard every noise and just "knew" it was some deranged axe murderer coming to break in to the house and murder me and my babies in our sleep.

I am so thankful for my husband. He is truly an amazing and wonderful man. Feeling safe is just another way that God shows me everyday that this is the man He made for me.

Grace Under Pressure

Yesterday, I came across an article that was written by my favorite professor when I was in college. She encouraged me in my writing and in my chosen field of study. She also, which may be a complete surprise to her, encouraged me in my faith. I took every class she offered, from poetry to Shakespeare...even her class about Holocaust Literature. I spent a significant amount of time with her during my years at Butler University, but yesterday found out something about her that I had not expected to. While I was there, in 2001, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a double mastectomy.

This is the woman that in many ways I wanted to be. When I visited her in her office, I could see myself there. I pictured myself down the road as a blonde version of her...right down to the red glasses on the edge of her nose. Even though that dream has been shelved for now, I still think that someday that is where I'll be should God so chose to bless me in that way.

My first thought was selfish. Why was not I included in her suffering? But, in her not telling, not sharing with her students, I find that I have an even greater respect and admiration for her. This is a woman who hardly ever cancelled a class. I only remember her cancelling on Jewish holy days and when she was selected for jury duty. She showed in her ordeal where her priorities were. Her world did not revolve around herself, but around others.

Her article was called, "The Possibility of Joy." I do not remember her for her "joy." But, what I remember the most about her was how strong she was, and the grace that came through in that strength.

My Kitchen...Yeeha!

I am so thankful for a husband that can tackle home improvement jobs. It was a BIG job and there were some struggles along the way, but it is done!

Unless you yourself have carpet in your kitchen, you cannot possibly understand the level of my joy at having it gone and this new beautiful laminate in it's place. Having larger appliances out of our way, it made perfect sense to also paint the walls at this time and remove the old wallpaper. So, after dreaming about having a red kitchen since we were married...I now have it. Just walking in to the kitchen makes me happier.
Before, it was like I could never get it clean. With the peeling wallpaper and the constantly dirty carpet, it was a depressing room to enter. Now, I can not only see when the floor needs cleaning, I can also do it and feel that it is done. I can leave the kitchen and feel that it is completely cleaned. I am a happy girl. :)

Freecycle

If you haven't heard of this, you should definitely check it out. I tried it for the first time this week and actually got 10 pair of work pants and a sack of work shirts for Aaron. For absolutely nothing except the cost of picking them up. This is a free service where people post about things that they need or are looking for. The only thing is that you have to be willing to give or get for nothing with no strings attached. All you have to do is go and get it. They have all sorts of items that get posted; from clothes and furniture to lawn chairs and bags of frozen veggies.

freecycle.org

It's worth looking in to.

New Kitchen!

Finally, finally, finally! We have ripped out the disgusting carpet in the kitchen and removed the bad ivy-bamboo wallpaper. We have repainted and are in the process of putting in a new floor. Hopefully, we'll soon replace the broken down fridge and the oven. Then the "round table." It looks amazing. I took a risk and painted the kitchen a chili pepper red, but with the contrast of the dark wood and lighter counters and flooring it looks awe-diddley-awesome. I will definitely post some pictures when we get it all done. I'm soooo excited. :)

" I can't even get the blues no more."

It was around eight weeks post-partum that I stopped to actually think about it, but I realized that I hadn't had the "baby blues" this time around. What happened with the other "chilens" was not pleasant. They were pretty bad with Anna and horrible with Abby; peaking with a really horrid Christmas in 2006. So, I sort of figured that I was due for a natural progression with each of my babies. But, I haven't experienced even a smidge.

Around eight weeks post-partum I do believe all of those crazy pregnancy hormones were officially out of my system. I am not feeling mean and moody. I no longer want to bite Aaron's head off when he does a typical guy thing that I've tried to get him not to do. I'm not snapping at random people. Yes, I was snapping at random people; sometimes even random people I didn't know.

Anyways, I'm feeling awesome. I'm getting back into my normal exercise routine and hope to start doing my morning yoga once the wee one gets on more of a regular morning schedule. Yeeha!

Hugs to all the mama's out there that do have a hard time after their pregnancies. Maybe here's a little hope that not everyone will be that way. :)

"I'm a Stand by my Woman Man"- Ronnie Milsap

I heard this on the radio for the first time since Aaron and I have been married. I so appreciate Aaron being the kind of man he is. He doesn't run around late at night doing guy stuff all the time. I have to encourage him to go out on occasion. I soooo look forward to him coming in the door in the evenings. Around five o'clock, I'll start watching for him to come in the door. Not only so he can hold a baby for me, but because our home is more complete when he's here. That's the way we were meant to be. :)



At five oclock she knows I’ll soon be home.
She don't worry ‘bout me runnin' 'round,
'cause all of my good times are wating right there for me
and she knows where I'll be when the sun goes down.

I'm a stand by my woman man.
Our world turns around a little gold band,
and love leads us through life, hand in hand.
I'm a stand by my woman man.
We fall asleep at night thinking , ain't love grand.
That's why I'm a stand by my woman man.

When she's down, she knows I'll be beside her.
'Cause I'm not just her lover, I'm her friend.
Our love keeps getting better and I'll gladly spend forever
standing by the woman who stands by her man.

I'm a stand by my woman man.
Our world turns around a little gold band,
and love leads us through life, hand in hand.
I'm a stand by my woman man.
We fall asleep at night thinking , ain't love grand.
That's why I'm a stand by my woman man.

"There will always be challenges, but at least we'll be sleeping."

I recently read that one of the most intimate ways to connect with your spouse is to laugh with them. This morning we were talking about Charlotte's sleep habits and how they do seem to be getting better again since we moved her into her own room. Aaron commented that a lot of people say how much easier it was when their children were babies. (I personally cannot imagine. I am a sleeper). He then went on to say that "There will always be challenges, but at least we'll be sleeping." For some reason I found that extremely funny. It could just be that my brain is sleep-deprived and the idea of someday again being well-rested is just so beautiful I couldn't help but release some of the happiness. I'm really quite looking forward to sleeping once again. I have always enjoyed my sleep. This from someone who slept 20 hours a day until she was two years old. Oh, yeah, I hoped my babies might inherit some of my sleep genes at times. :)