Grace Under Pressure

Yesterday, I came across an article that was written by my favorite professor when I was in college. She encouraged me in my writing and in my chosen field of study. She also, which may be a complete surprise to her, encouraged me in my faith. I took every class she offered, from poetry to Shakespeare...even her class about Holocaust Literature. I spent a significant amount of time with her during my years at Butler University, but yesterday found out something about her that I had not expected to. While I was there, in 2001, she was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a double mastectomy.

This is the woman that in many ways I wanted to be. When I visited her in her office, I could see myself there. I pictured myself down the road as a blonde version of her...right down to the red glasses on the edge of her nose. Even though that dream has been shelved for now, I still think that someday that is where I'll be should God so chose to bless me in that way.

My first thought was selfish. Why was not I included in her suffering? But, in her not telling, not sharing with her students, I find that I have an even greater respect and admiration for her. This is a woman who hardly ever cancelled a class. I only remember her cancelling on Jewish holy days and when she was selected for jury duty. She showed in her ordeal where her priorities were. Her world did not revolve around herself, but around others.

Her article was called, "The Possibility of Joy." I do not remember her for her "joy." But, what I remember the most about her was how strong she was, and the grace that came through in that strength.